Why 2 Year Olds Throw Tantrums And What You Can Do About It?

By Kaushiik Sampat

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Tantrums are one of the most common and challenging parts of raising a toddler. Almost every parent will face this phase, especially around age two which is also called the “terrible twos.” Your sweet little child who was once easy to manage may now cry, scream, kick, or refuse to listen. But truth is that tantrums are normal for 2 year olds. In this article, we will explore why 2 year olds throw tantrums, what is happening in their little minds and what parents and caregivers can do to respond with calm, care and confidence.

What Is A Tantrum?

A tantrum is an emotional outburst that usually includes crying, screaming, stomping, hitting or throwing things. Some children may fall to the floor, kick their feet or even hold their breath for a few seconds. These outbursts often come when toddlers feel overwhelmed, frustrated or helpless. At around age two, toddlers are full of emotion but still learning how to communicate, make choices and control their behavior. Tantrums are their way of saying, “I don’t like this” or “I need help,” or “I want something now!” even if they can’t say those exact words.

Cartoon illustration showing toddler tantrums and how parents can respond calmly 1

Why Do 2-Year-Olds Have Tantrums?

There are several reasons why 2 year olds throw tantrums. Understanding these can help you respond with more patience and less stress.

1. Limited Communication Skills

At two, most children are still learning how to talk. They may understand more words than they can say, but when they can’t express their needs clearly, they become frustrated. A child who wants juice but doesn’t know how to say it might scream or cry instead.

2. Big Emotions, Little Control

2 year olds toddlers feel emotions strongly, but they don’t yet know how to manage them. When they feel angry, sad, scared, or even excited, they don’t have the self-control to stay calm. Their brain is still developing the ability to manage those emotions.

3. Desire For Independence

Around this age, toddlers start to want control. They want to do things their own way whether it is picking clothes, pouring milk or climbing stairs without help. When they are told “no” or something doesn’t go their way, a tantrum may follow.

4. Overstimulation or Fatigue

Too much noise, too many people or skipping a nap can overwhelm a toddler. A tired or overstimulated 2 year old child is more likely to break down. Even being hungry can lead to emotional meltdowns.

5. Testing Boundaries

Two year olds are also learning what happens when they push limits. If crying or yelling got them what they wanted before, they might try it again. This does not mean they are being bad. It means they are learning that one action can lead to another.

Common Triggers That Cause 2 Year Old Tantrums

Here are some typical situations that often lead to tantrums in 2 year olds:

  • Being told “no” by parents
  • Not getting a toy, snack or screen time
  • Being asked to share things
  • Transitioning from one activity to another like leaving the park
  • Getting dressed, brushing teeth or taking a bath
  • Feeling hungry or tired

What You Can Do During a Tantrum?

When a tantrum starts, how parents respond matters. Here are some ways parents can manage it without losing their cool:

1. Stay Calm: Child is always looking towards parents for how to react. If they stay calm, it helps toddler calm down. Parents should take deep breaths and remind themselves that this behavior is normal for their age.

2. Don’t Yell or Spank: Responding with anger or punishment often makes things worse. Yelling may scare your child or make them more upset. Physical punishment can harm their trust and emotional development.

3. Give Them Space: Sometimes, toddlers just need time to cry it out in a safe place. Stay nearby so they know you are there, but avoid too much talking while they are highly emotional.

Also Read: Supporting Your Child’s Development With Effective Parenting

4. Validate Their Feelings: Parents should let their child know that they understand. Say things like “I know you are upset because you wanted to play longer.” or “It is okay to feel mad, but we cannot hit others.” This will help children learn to identify and manage their emotions.

5. Use Simple Choices: Instead of saying “No,” offer choices to 2 year old toddlers. For example: Ask questions like “Do you want the red cup or the blue one?” or “Should we brush teeth before or after the bath?” This gives toddlers a sense of control and reduces frustration.

6. Distract Them: Sometimes, changing the topic or pointing to something interesting can shift their attention. Distraction works well for 2 year old children for short tantrums.

What To Do After A Tantrum?

Once tantrum is over, it is time to reconnect with your 2 year old and guide them by following given steps:

1. Offer Comfort: If your child comes to you for a hug or cuddle after a tantrum, give it. They are not manipulating you but they are showing they trust you.

2. Talk About What Happened: When your child is calm, use simple language to explain and understand. For example: “ I know you were upset because we left the playground. Next time, we will say goodbye to the slide before we go.” This builds emotional awareness over time.

3. Praise Good Behavior: If you catch your child doing well, praise it. Say things like “Great job using your words.” or “I like how you shared your toy.” This helps your child feel proud and repeat good behavior.

How to Prevent 2 Year Olds Tantrums?

You cannot prevent all tantrums, but you can reduce how often and how intense they are by following these tips:

1. Stick to a Routine

2 year old toddlers feel safer when they know what to expect. Try to keep meals, naps, and playtimes at regular times each day.

2. Prepare for Transitions

Let your child know what is coming next. For example: “Five more minutes, then it is time to go home.”

3. Limit Screen Time

Too much screen time can lead to mood swings. Keep screen time short for children and offer more hands-on playtime.

4. Make Sure They Eat and Sleep Well

Hungry and tired toddlers are more likely to cause tantrums. Keep snacks and water handy when you are out.

5. Teach Simple Words and Signs

The more your toddler can express themselves, the fewer tantrums they will have. Teach them to use basic words like “help”, “stop” , “more” and “no.”

Cartoon illustration showing toddler tantrums and how parents can respond calmly 2

Conclusion

Tantrums are a normal part of a 2 year old’s journey toward independence. While tantrums are frustrating for parents, they are also a sign that your child is learning how the world works and what they can and can’t control. By staying calm, offering support, setting gentle boundaries and helping your child understand their feelings, parents can guide them through this stage with love and patience. And remember that this phase won’t last forever. With time, your toddler will grow into a more calm, confident, and expressive child.

FAQ

How to stop a 2 year old from throwing tantrums?

To stop a 2 year old from throwing tantrums, stay calm and consistent. Use simple words to acknowledge their feelings. Distract with a toy or change the environment. Set clear rules and routines. Praise good behavior often. Avoid giving in during tantrums to prevent reinforcing the behavior.

What is normal for a 2 year old to have a tantrum?

It is normal for a 2 year old to have tantrums as they learn to handle big emotions. Tantrums often happen from frustration, tiredness, or hunger. At this age, children struggle to express themselves with words, so outbursts are common. With guidance and patience, most toddlers stop showing frequent tantrums over time.


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